In my lifetime this is my second time been in love, but she lacks basic knowledge about how to keep money. The love of my life is a very sweet person, but she goes through money like water. Her attitude is that the lord would provide, and she just buys whatever she wants.

We’ve been dating for over three years and everything about how relationship is fine, except for the financial issues. My girlfriend makes about $60K from her regular job, plus $25K from part time gigs like bartending, catering duties etc.

She knows how to make money, but she does not have a clue how to keep it. Our recent discussion centered around savings, and she revealed she only has $1500 in her bank account.

She also owes about $25,000 in credit card debts plus $9,000 remaining on her student loan.

I was flabbergasted to say the least. Meanwhile I make about the same salary as she does, and have managed to save over $175,000 in just five years. My student loan would be paid in full by the end of this year.

I was thinking about proposing to her, but the way she spends money would definitely be a huge problem if we move in together.

I suspect she gets most of her self esteem from the way she dresses. Most of her shopping centers around clothing, shoes, handbags and skin treatment stuff.

I am conservative with my finances, and she blows through money like a financial wrecking ball. My goal is to start investing in apartment buildings by next year.

Before I get to the question of marrying her, let me point out how she handles her finances based on my observations.

Her Finances

Below are some of the outrageous things she has accumulated, and her apartment is full of stuff. Mind you, she also has full set of clothes at my place, but I have that contained to just one closet.

Shoes – She has over 150 pairs of shoes and sneakers. She buys two or three pairs of shoes every month. Most of them she only wore once. Mind you these are not shoes you buy from payless.

Her shoe purchases averages out to about $90 or more per pair. She gets delivery almost everyday from websites I never even heard of. Her shoe collection is a colossal waste of money.

Clothing – She dresses like a princess. She is a very pretty chick, but she takes her dressing style to another level. She has about 12 jogging suits that is fitting and curvy, but she’s only gone out jogging once since we’ve been dating.

Her job requires she wear a suit, and boy does she have lots of them. Just an average number, she has over 75 pairs of suits in her closet, not counting the 6 pairs that’s in my apartment.

Her collection of blouses, tank tops, jeans, regular pants etc, can be counted in the hundreds. The number of underwear’s, bras and other intimate apparel numbers in the hundreds.

She has underwear sets for the summer months, and another set for the winter months. I once asked why, and she said I wouldn’t understand because it’s a woman’s thing.

Skin Treatment Lotions – She has beautiful skin, because I have seen her without makeup. But she buys all kinds of skin treatment nonsense, that claims to perform miracles.

I have tried to make her see that your outward skin is just a reflection of your lifestyle. If you eat junk it will be reflected on your skin tone, regardless of what type of skin treatment you’re using.

She once bought a moisturizer wrinkle treatment for $125 that claims to work in just minutes. Meanwhile she has no wrinkles that I can see on her face.

Sometimes I suspect she sees a different person in the mirror. Her skin treatment collection will make most women blush with envy. She buys almost anything endorsed by Dr. Oz, the famous Oprah surrogate.

Her Jewelry collection – thank goodness she hates diamonds, as she thinks the way they’re produced will bring the wearer bad luck. I suspect she had some bad incident with diamonds in the past.

Her flaw is that she likes Costume jewelry, and she own hundreds of them. Some look beautiful, but most are just crap in my opinion.

The gold pieces she owns are the ones I gave her, and she hardly wears them. So diamonds and gold jewelry she detests, but trinkets, custome jewelry and native ornaments she likes.

Food – Her taste in food is reasonable, and she does not waste any money in that dept. She tries to buy organic stuff if it’s available, and she loves shopping at Trader Joe for food stuff.

She hates restaurant meals, as she claims most chefs have dirty habits that gets transferred to your food. Based on her cooking alone, she would make a great life companion.

What We have in Common

She has everything a woman could ask for. She’s pretty, about 5’10 and skin that glows. Most times she’s cheerful and out-going. She only drinks wine sometimes, but hates hard alcohol of any kind. She does not smoke, and she has a “killer” figure that’s hard to resist.

I get the feeling she likes to be around me, as I make her laugh most of the time. My attitude is non-judgmental, but I pay close attention to details. I notice when she changes her hair style, or when she wears a new custome jewelry.

We both have the same political philosophy, with a genuine distaste for both political parties due to real corruption. She enjoys reading just like me, and our short trips together has been enjoyable. Both her parents are still married, and mine were divorced at an early age.

Our sex life is extra-ordinary. She once asked if I liked kids and I deflected that question, as I felt it was a probe towards other issues. I do love kids, and she would make a great mother.

We spend most of our time together, and most people assume we’re married, or getting ready to. I love her dearly, but my money mind tells me she would create financial havoc if we ever get married.

Despite all those great things we adore together, finance is one thing we must get right for us to have any chance to make it as a couple.

Should I present Her With My Financial Plan?

I have created a plan to help solve her financial problems, with an offer to pay-off all her credit card debt if she follows through with it.

I have not presented it to her, as I am worried what her reaction would be. In all our dating years I have stayed clear of her finances, and she does not know about my savings or plan to start investing in apartment buildings next year.

The plan also involves both of us enrolling in a financial counseling session that I would pay for. The counseling would be about managing personal finances. While my motives can be called good, what her reaction would be is hard to predict.

You might call me an enabler because I never confronted her about her shopaholic behavior. She’s 26 years old, and I am 29! My dad broke up with my mom partially due to her free spending ways.

He once reminded me that while sex and companionship is good, money is what pays the bills. He insisted a good marriage must have good money management principles in place, or it would not work.

Unless she changes financially, I see no marriage potential for both of us. While I love her dearly, my love for my finances is just as great. Would I accept a partner that offers a great relationship and sex life, but with financial wrecking ball attitude, probably not.

I sense if I present her with the workable financial plan she might resent me for doing so, and that might mean the start of our break-up. Women can be fickle in more ways than one! Guys tend to be more direct, while women are actually more emotional.

She’s a beautiful person, and my love for her is unquestionable. While I care to take our relationship to the next level, her financial lifestyle is not compatible with mine.

Marry someone I love and expect her to change financially, or try to change her before marrying her. This is truly a life changing decision for me to make, and I invite all to give opinions freely.